In the fallout now
It's hard to feel like we can turn around
With the damage done
It's hard to see how far we've come
We could not be proud
Of where our feet have walked along the ground
In the silence now
We play it back and forwards again

There's a sound in our guiltiness
It's a warning bell that rings
It's a call for our lonliness
And we can't see

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
Its like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

Play the victim here
You know it's nothing but your pride and fear
But the more you hurt
The more you love the one you were

There's a sound in our guiltiness
It's a warning bell that rings
It's a call for our lonliness
And we can't see

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
Its like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

In the light of the mourning
Can we change what we felt and heard?
Can we turn it into the glory?
Break the paths of our fathers before us
Though we stand on the outside
We will find what we once believed
And will crawl our way to the clear skies
Standing up we are
Standing up we are

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
Its like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

Super speeder!

My Little Buddy

I have never been so actively involved in preparing myself mentally to build a family of my own. Talk and even disagreement on child rearing and the like, it all just runs away in the dark of a very dark night.
It really breaks my heart to no end.
This most beautiful thing breaks me almost like God only ever has.

It's not the long walk home that will change this heart, but the welcome I receive with every start.

Ashley, I still smile when I think of you, all things considered.
I laugh at myself, and just everything that comes along with you.
I literally sit here and chuckle or just get this huge grin on my face.
I couldn't hate you or despise you if I tried, and I'm glad for that.
I was just thinking out loud here.
I think the theme here needs to change, or the maybe we'll change the channel altogether.

I still laugh when I see this negative lying around in my desk drawer, the way the bit of film was totally ruined other than you. I don't know what to say about it now.

How selfish...
I am sorry.

She smiles like a Georgia summer...

SCAD has a photogravure class... wow.
I might just pursue.

Semester in Hong Kong?
Finish off in Savannah?
Graduate degree in Atlanta?

I think it's time to give it all a good look.

I smiled this morning.
I took a big deep breath at the sound, and I smiled...

Old Piece...

I Passed Through the Looking Glasses
As I pass through, my breath remains behind. I hope it follows me through soon enough, but if not, this isn’t such a bad place to suffocate. I see the stories of a life lived from the inside of a silky, pressed porcelain parchment. Strangely, it’s dark inside despite the radiance that seems to shine outward. You are fair; you are sublime.
And I do not just pass out such an adjective without great care. I am methodical in my thought, in my labyrinth. I am aware and attentive to what you are not, to what you are. You lead the word effortlessly through the winding corridors and past my lips though. Yes, I say it out loud as well, but you’d never know that. Times New Roman, Arial, Verdana and Franklin could never possibly replicate the deep breath behind my voice or the shortness of breath thereafter. Oh, it seems as though my breath has caught up to me. Good, I like it here.
I’d give up my breath again to look around some more, but surely the circumstance would not allow it. It is what it is, but it is bittersweet. I would say it is more bitter. Regardless, I endure for the over concentrated sugary sweet that I am afforded hither and thither.
I know I have to go back through at some point, but I will put it off as long as I can. Do not wake me. Do not stir me. Let me be. I’ll come out soon enough, surely. If nothing else, you’ll make me, but please allow me to stay for just a little while longer. Allow me another quick look around.
Life has painted your walls this clockwork shade of orange. There is writing, on opposite walls, that reminds you to love thy sister and remember thy mother. Over on the right your prize buck is mounted with, fittingly, a prominent rack. I see one of those model ships in a bottle with a mount that is marked “Papa” sitting on a shelf beneath him. Then there, in the middle of the room, it appears as though a leprechaun and the talking rabbit were playing dice. That spotty memory, you know. It’s a good thing you take notes.
I suppose I’ll leave now. I’ll turn right around and come back through those looking glasses though, the clear framed ones, not the black ones, and I’ll look around some more. Maybe a new place will be open for exploration. I shall again vainly make an attempt at bringing my breath in with me, but if I can’t, I’ll come just the same.
You are exclusively sublime.

I've had two very long days.
I am stretched very thin in many ways.
I cannot take calls, and I cannot take money.
I cannot take extra work because life is just too hectic.
Tonight wasn't so bad - downtown L.A. for the second night in a row.
I shared my lessons learned and my experiences past.
I think it brought a lot back.
I'm not sure if I am tired or simply just mellow yellow.
I've been on autopilot for the past few weeks...
18 hour days are just mighty nuts.

I missed you tonight while I was walking down these crappy streets, dark and empty.
What a sad story mine is, today.
This chapter is not so hot, but I suppose those reading might follow along if they're rooting for me.
Hopefully I'm one of those lovable characters like Ted from There's Something About Mary.
He was a pretty swell guy still thinking about Mary when he thought she was a whale of a tale.
I have some great things to smile about for sure, but I've buried them with current preoccupations that I know will only be temporary.
I'm not really sure if that's a good thing, but I am sure, as of late, that I should probably go and talk to someone about some things.
I'm pretty exhausted, and I have to be up in about 5 hours for another nutso long day, so I guess I'll get back to you...

Goodnight.