I wonder what you were thinking when you closed your eyes at times like these.
I wonder what you were thinking when you fell asleep in my arms at night and woke next to me in the morning.
I would have liked to lounge around the one night, late in Forsyth park, for a little longer there in the dark sitting on the bench.
That was a good night.

"You can't hurt me more than I've already been hurt, and you can't abuse me more than I abused myself every day, so I'm going to take something from you."

Wow.

Again, you come up at dinner with curiosity.
You still blow my mind, sweetheart. </3

You have changed the way I see this world.
You have changed how I interact with the ones I am closest too.
I am a mess, dear, but I am never unaware of the fact that I let you change me.

I am a little afraid for the first time, and I'm not sure exactly why or what it is that I am afraid of.

I do not understand.

Cheesiest girl ever... and I loved it more than you'll ever know.

People still ask about you.
Yesterday when I was asked, I had to count the months. I guess that's a good thing, the fact that I no longer know off the top of my head. The days have turned to weeks have turned to months. I didn't know how to respond to most of the questions with anything other than an "I don't know. I really have no idea." [what had happened... where it all went... How?]

Just a year ago I was falling crown over sole for you.
You were moving me in nice and easy; it was little effort for you, and it wasn't so hard for me to love you either. My heart was broken for you. I gave you full access to this cold hard chest of mine and this time '09 you started doing surgery, cutting deeply and providing me warmth from the inside. I was hopeful and I looked only forward, right into those eyes as they turned from kelly to cornflower.

You blew my mind, sweetheart.
You had me; you had me.

Twenty-four.
Oh boy...

I really do wonder if someone will ever take me away like you did. I really wonder if I'll ever want to be such a man again.
Really... but I guess it's a silly question seeing as I'm only going to be 24 next week. It's kind of hard to imagine being so focused again. It's hard to imagine being so absolutely honest again without fear.
I risked my dignity only to give love a chance.
I feel sick.

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body?
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly?
And can you kneel before this king
And say I’m clean, I’m clean?

But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?

A white blank page
and a swelling rage, rage.
You did not think
when you sent me
to the brink, to the brink.
You desired my attention
but denied my affections, my affections.

So tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?

Aah, aah...
Lead me to the truth and I
will follow you with my whole life.
Lead me to the truth and I
will follow you with my whole life.