I wonder what you were thinking when you closed your eyes at times like these.
I wonder what you were thinking when you fell asleep in my arms at night and woke next to me in the morning.
I would have liked to lounge around the one night, late in Forsyth park, for a little longer there in the dark sitting on the bench.
That was a good night.

"You can't hurt me more than I've already been hurt, and you can't abuse me more than I abused myself every day, so I'm going to take something from you."

Wow.

Again, you come up at dinner with curiosity.
You still blow my mind, sweetheart. </3

You have changed the way I see this world.
You have changed how I interact with the ones I am closest too.
I am a mess, dear, but I am never unaware of the fact that I let you change me.

I am a little afraid for the first time, and I'm not sure exactly why or what it is that I am afraid of.

I do not understand.

Cheesiest girl ever... and I loved it more than you'll ever know.

People still ask about you.
Yesterday when I was asked, I had to count the months. I guess that's a good thing, the fact that I no longer know off the top of my head. The days have turned to weeks have turned to months. I didn't know how to respond to most of the questions with anything other than an "I don't know. I really have no idea." [what had happened... where it all went... How?]

Just a year ago I was falling crown over sole for you.
You were moving me in nice and easy; it was little effort for you, and it wasn't so hard for me to love you either. My heart was broken for you. I gave you full access to this cold hard chest of mine and this time '09 you started doing surgery, cutting deeply and providing me warmth from the inside. I was hopeful and I looked only forward, right into those eyes as they turned from kelly to cornflower.

You blew my mind, sweetheart.
You had me; you had me.

Twenty-four.
Oh boy...