Unedited

Today, I'm pretty much just bummed out... sitting here, editing pictures.
Today I just remember how I would sit and edit, wondering which ones you'd like best.
I'd open skype up and just show you all of them anyway...
I never let anyone else see everything I took unedited, you know that?
You got everything from me...
Everything.

I don't want to be callous. I don't want to be cold, but I hate sitting here like this in tears...
You were hands down the most beautiful thing I had ever held, and the burden I carried for you all those months made me stronger and more sturdy than ever.
I wake up lately, not sad, not happy... but something else.
I hate it, but it's either this or sadness again... like it is today.
... and this is a good day.
I am broken.

You are beautiful; you are precious... O' wonderful little gift from God.
You've shown me both that I am capable of a maturity I thought I might never have and that I am never in a place so high that I can't be brought back down to my former state or even worse.

I miss you...
I miss you.
I miss
you.
How am I expected to walk around missing my heart?

Ridiculous ridiculous dreams...

hefoundmee (10:57:18 AM): I prayed and I'm feeling better. Like I remember how I felt when I first accepted Jesus, you know?
hefoundmee (10:58:09 AM): I know I'm gonna get knocked down a bunch of times, but I can turn to God when I need to be picked up again.
hefoundmee (11:00:06 AM): Its tough.
hefoundmee (11:00:11 AM): But I'm doing it.
hefoundmee (11:00:26 AM): Kaitlyn just said, "Don't stop, don't give up."
hefoundmee (11:01:30 AM): She keeps walking up to the fridge and saying, "I had soo much fun at Church, Momma."
hefoundmee (11:01:44 AM): Thats where her picture from church is hanging.


I don't know how I'm to keep from having my heart broken when I read these things...

O' dreams:

We sat in the car, driving down the road...
the same road where we had our first meal, after and before which we sat in the car for a moment and kissed and stared at each other.
You would not look at me, but I finally reached over and put my hand over yours. You turned your palm to mine and tangled our fingers together...
You squeezed my hand tight, sniffled, and wiped a tear away.
... and I woke up.

You've said that you come to steal, kill, and destroy...
Let me say that unless you're Satan himself, you're screwing with the wrong man, boy. You stand tall, but you'll be brought low. Your haughty spirit and foolish mouth will bring you to ruin. You don't screw with God's children, you fool. My God is upright and just; unless you get down and ask for mercy yourself, you will be made low. I will not sit down when I know my cause is right.
You've made a silly mistake because of your ridiculous indiscretion...
The difference between those who/Who back the each of us is that my God will never fail me. He'll never bail on me.
Your "buddy"? He's as flighty as can be.
You won't come out of this standing.
I promise you.

Choose your words carefully.
He that keeps his mouth keeps his life;
He that opens his lips too wide shall bring on his own destruction [Proverbs 13:3].
Bite your tongue until it bleeds.
The pain is worth more than what you have to say.
Swallow your pride.
Swallow your pride because silence is golden, and I wouldn't pay a penny to hear your thoughts.
Lie down your guard.
Lie down your guard and surrender.

Wild nights, wild nights... and not like Emily Dickinson's.

Now it makes sense.
O' truth, I love you.
... and YOU? I still love you too, maybe more than ever.
Let it be known in my action.

I understand, and the self critical piece of me is at peace, but I am heartbroken.
I love you, love...
You're beautiful.
You're precious.
You will only find yourself in God...
That's the only place.
That's your only real identity.

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you cannot do.